Confused or just stressed?

Hey!

I have been a bit messed up lately, so I haven't been able to write for a while. This week has been very hectic and suddenly I feel like I am falling apart. I am glad everything is going to be over soon and maybe I should just relax and do my best for my exams. The only thing I can do now is just study, study, study!

I have to admit that I have been thinking about my future plans way too much lately. I know, that the last time I said about doing the things I want and following my dreams, and that is what I want to do. We only live once, but lately there is always an "if" in everything, like "what if my plans don't work out" or "what if  I don't get a job" and so on...This stupid "if" pisses me off sometimes! I don't know about you, but for me it has been very difficult not to stress about my future. I wish I could focus on this day and stop stressing about everything! I am only eighteen, there is no need to stress about every little thing in life!

I have always been like my dad. I am super sensitive and I tend to stress a lot! Thank God that my dad has learned to stress less and enjoy every day, and I have been trying to do the same. I am glad that I have made some progress these past two years and I am proud of myself. My mom always tells me that I there is no use on thinking about the future too much, because you never know what might happen, and I agree. When my father was diagnosed that he had a brain tumor, we didn't expect it and we had to learn live with it. It brought us closer as a family and we realised that you can never take something for granted, not even your health.

So what, if my plans don't go exactly the way I wanted! Something unexpected can happen and that's okay! After all, things might turn out better than I thought! :)

Have a great Saturday night!

Karpalo